Pre-departure Concert day

I look terrible with my make-up. Probably because my face is still swollen from the drug's side effects. No one would have guess I was performing under a relapse. My ankles and thighs were swollen with water; under normal circumstances, I would think I am crazy and overboard. But there were too much to lose if there wasn't any risk. And I am just glad I did.

Our concert day coincides with my mom's birthday. I felt very sorry to have dragged my mom from home to watch me perform. But I am really glad she was all smiles at the end of the concert and thankful that my sisters managed to bring my mom to shop at Ion before coming to watch my horrendous dance steps.

I hugged every one of them including Tuty and Ben who turned up. Thankful to Ben for ferrying my folks around and Tuty for being the best photographer I know.

Glad and thankful

More often than not, I tend to put my family as a lower priority to entertain. I would tend to joke lesser with my parents and sisters. This is because, I am contented and very thankful that my family is a big and warm family and there isn't anything that we need urgently (maybe more money) and I always feel a need for me to share what I have with my friends to spread my joy.

16 oct is my mom's birthday which coincides with my pre-departure concert; I felt really guilty of being unable to produce the cake I have intended for; so much so that it affected half of my performance. Along with 2 of my best friends who couldn't make it to my PDC; it was only when it reached Getai performance that I realize that my priorities for that day was wrong. I should have prioritise my family's entertainment as the utmost priority.

My ankle and knee joints were really aching; my high blood pressure is causing the anxiety and nervousness to mount. I am starting to panic; but somewhat I felt nostalgic about this feeling. As I set my priorities right, I felt that this is the time to concentrate and focused. At the end of the day, I know that I have made my mom smile and I think that is a reasonable reward for all the shit I went through.