What does it mean when men put one knee on the ground.

Since ancient civilisation; or at least when men knows civilisation, we have been proposing to the girls of our dreams in a kneeling position (on one knee). All guys nowadays would probably be in that position when proposing nowadays.



According to my years of experience watching Chinese shows; Chinese Generals have to go down on only one knee when greeting the Emperor whereas ministers would have to go down on both knees with both hands to greet the emperor. why?!?!?!?!



I don't think anyone of my generation actually wonders or thinks about this kinda stuff. (maybe I am that weird)



My personal sentiments are that the kneeling position is a position whereby our civilised ancestors wanted to portray or bring across the message like ,"I am keeping half my pride away in the presence of this person." when it comes to greeting some one like kings and queens.



Whereas when kneeling down on one knee in front of his lover, the message probably goes something like this ,"I will keep away my half of my pride hoping that you will give me a chance to spend the rest of my life with you." It actually feels more like begging.

Pre-departure Concert day

I look terrible with my make-up. Probably because my face is still swollen from the drug's side effects. No one would have guess I was performing under a relapse. My ankles and thighs were swollen with water; under normal circumstances, I would think I am crazy and overboard. But there were too much to lose if there wasn't any risk. And I am just glad I did.

Our concert day coincides with my mom's birthday. I felt very sorry to have dragged my mom from home to watch me perform. But I am really glad she was all smiles at the end of the concert and thankful that my sisters managed to bring my mom to shop at Ion before coming to watch my horrendous dance steps.

I hugged every one of them including Tuty and Ben who turned up. Thankful to Ben for ferrying my folks around and Tuty for being the best photographer I know.

Glad and thankful

More often than not, I tend to put my family as a lower priority to entertain. I would tend to joke lesser with my parents and sisters. This is because, I am contented and very thankful that my family is a big and warm family and there isn't anything that we need urgently (maybe more money) and I always feel a need for me to share what I have with my friends to spread my joy.

16 oct is my mom's birthday which coincides with my pre-departure concert; I felt really guilty of being unable to produce the cake I have intended for; so much so that it affected half of my performance. Along with 2 of my best friends who couldn't make it to my PDC; it was only when it reached Getai performance that I realize that my priorities for that day was wrong. I should have prioritise my family's entertainment as the utmost priority.

My ankle and knee joints were really aching; my high blood pressure is causing the anxiety and nervousness to mount. I am starting to panic; but somewhat I felt nostalgic about this feeling. As I set my priorities right, I felt that this is the time to concentrate and focused. At the end of the day, I know that I have made my mom smile and I think that is a reasonable reward for all the shit I went through.

Imploding and exploding; which is scarier?

There has been some conflicts among the people in my different social networks. Personally; it is another field experiment to observe the wonders and interactions of human science. Till this date, I managed to make one discovery; which is, "anger is something you can't lose by losing it."

I managed to observe that girls then to implode while guys would prefer exploding. I don't think this is behavior engineered by genes, but rather a cultural disorder that Asians have.

Individually, I do not think that explosive anger is scary at all; (maybe because, no angry guy has touched me and left the building alive) Emotions that surfaces aren't as scary as hidden emotions. Implosive behavior on the other hand is very very unhealthy. Although under certain social circumstances; we are STRONGLY encourage not to flare up; I still feel that it is unhealthy to the mind for a person to swallow his/ her anger.

In addition; there is a possibility that the person would continue to have this recessive line of thoughts which could probably lead to some health problems. Just picture a person who has the ability to explode; would he implode or just explode?

Lose knee

I injured my knee during one of the dance steps while lifting up a girl and now my knee gives out a loud crack sound when it bends from 180 degrees to 130 degrees. Sometimes it would locked itself and prevent me from walking. I think both my elder sister and me has brought our dad's name to shame. My elder sister broke her leg while she was dancing tango; and me, an injury for just a simple move. Our dad used to be a folk dance instructor at a CC and I am sure he might puke blood if he sees any one of us dancing.

This bloody knee sure hurts a lot; gives me the temptation to disown it; but I will and must endure. Others like YiNing and Sasi have been great examples of enduring; I must learn from them.

I just need some one to tell me that I am doing fine.

True Story from the states

It was some years back when this happened; it is a true story and a very touching one. This happened in the countryside of America. A woman who was just wedded just found out she is pregnant. Her husband thanked her while she, in turn, thanked the gods.

On this very fateful day; she needed to get some groceries from town while her husband is out for work. She went ahead and drove to town by herself. Halfway through, she met an accident. She was admitted to the hospital immediately and was announced brain dead after all the diagnosing. Fortunately, the part of the brain that handles all the autonomous functions is still intact; which means the baby still has a chance of surviving.

Days and months go by and finally the fateful day of the delivery came. As the wife is unconscious, she has to undergo a surgery to deliver the baby. The doctors and surgeons held on with cold sweat; they work hard for 30 over hours. Finally, the baby was born.

(here comes the most touching part)

Upon hearing the baby's first cry, the wife smiled.


Sadly, this story doesn't have a happy ending. The husband, with much tears, signed the papers to 'return' his wife to the heavens. Since then, much controversy has been going on that despite losing all the higher cognitive functions such as emotions and thinking; there is still some residue brain or memory that allowed her to express herself for the last time.

Once again; the power of the human brain awed me.

Woman - a smile so scary

There has always been theis saying that Hell hath no fire like a woman's scorn. Looks like even hades couldn't handle a woman. =)

I learnt that a woman smiling does not means that she is happy. She could be smiling and laughing while what she is actually thinking is the complete opposite. These are the kind of high-level stuff that guys find it hard to do as it is in our hormones and genes that we show what we feel. Thus, women are better hypocrites and backstabbers. =)

In asian context, a woman's reply "anything" is a man's most feared answer. The previous statement is self-explanatory. =) For the guys who still doesn's have a clue on what it means; go find out on your own. =P

Men VS Women

All these are facts taught to me:
In the cold: Women would have stronger resistance in cold weather (i heard was because of more arm fats under the biceps?).

In the wild: Women has better spatial memory. From the view of evolution, it was probably because the men's ancestors were always out on the field sticking their spears into something and then run away for another 3 days before that particular something drops dead and carried i back to their camp; whereas women are always in camp. Thus, their(women) memory of the surroundings (around the camp) is better.

In general: on average a woman speaks 5000 words a day; compared to a man who, on average speaks 2000 words. I personally think this has got something to do with our ancestors again. Men are out hunting in the wild; we can afford to talk much; whereas women are always at the camp site. nothing to do --> talk, that is why =|. But we all know that neither the 5000 or the 2000 words are all meaningful words. =)

Man has more neurons while women has more synapses. In other words, we (men) tends to think more, while women has better memory. That is why we often has the scenario like having a woman saying,"you promised last saturday, 3pm at orchard road that you would take me out on a dinner date to Carlton hotel."

Then the guy pause to think and continued to think for the next half an hour before finally saying,"oh?"

Genes

The study of genes is s fascinating to me that I would just refer to it after a quarrel just to calm myself down.

Personality, behaviour and alot other stuff is affected by the gene. It was bargained that 30 % of our personality is controlled by inheritance and 70% of it by the environment. Genes is becoming so important to us in the society that certain functions such as as DNA tests, etc cannot function without it.

They now have genetic tests which are able to tell you where your ancestors migrated from and where they migrated across before telling you that you finally appeared. It is just so fascinating and amazing how much genes can tell us. Kudos to the Project Genome by the states to come up with the map of all the genes. oh yar, they are also probably capable of telling you that you would probably die of cancer and stuff like that.

Perhaps someday in the future, a guy gets down on one knee and proposed to a lady,"would you marry me?" The lady would probably tell the guy these ,"do you carry good genes? please bring along a copy of your genetic report and we shall see what your genes will say about you.thanks."

The guy would be left in shock. =)

The material I used is largely influenced by a great guy and lecturer named Richard Mcdonough.

time

Every one has a time limit.

Some longer and others shorter.

Our lives could be illustrated using lamps.

Some people run on oil lamps; some on candles, bulbs and maybe a few on fluorescent bulbs.

The candle length is rather short and thin. But I shall burn.

brighter than ever.

Stronger as before.

There will be no more flickering until the last light out.

my frustrations

I have been helping out in The Musical's auditioning throughout the weeks and I am amazed and still amazed till now that every and any kind of people exists. Unlike them, I have no wish or desire to glow, let alone shine. I am definitely not that kind of guy who would take the center stage and plays the main lead; Neither am I a person who likes telling people my sorrows and pain.

I like crying in the dark; not because I am in depression (maybe slightly because of low self-esteem) but because I feel more comfortable when I crying. Recently, 2 persons told me these "damien, there were times where you could shine." and started thrash talking me into confessing my troubles. They don't realize it; it made me more vexed and frustrated. To make my easy way out; I said I don't have emotions. But the awful truth is that my medication is causing me to lose my control of my calmness and everything else that is above my neck.

My heart races every moment as though it is popping out. I perspires rapidly even in air-condition. I tremble when I talk; I have to check my body weight everyday in fear of water retention. I suffered from mild panic attacks and occasionally have blurred vision. I have a bloated face due to side effects of my medication. I have so many other conditions which I am so embarrassed by and I can never bring myself to talk about them. I live everyday in fear that I would suffer another relapse and the implications carried by it. I don't need any sympathy or understanding; I need more scoldings and disciplinary enforcement to help me with my work.

I am not a thick skinned guy who could live through everything. On the contrary, I am affected by everything said about me in front of me. Please don't have the misconceptions that I am a sporty guy and could live through all insults and humiliation (even though you guys don't mean it); the only reason I keep mum about it is because of the image I gave others since poly days is a sporty and rough guy who plays pranks and could probably live through another 3 world wars. The truth is that I am an extreme introvert like my elder sister and are ultra-sensitive to our environment's behavior and actions.

After reading these, please don't come to me with a sympathetic face and tell me that you understand my condition and wished to help me; that would probably turned me off.

Are we that unpopular?

In view of the efforts put in containing the spread of swine flu; I sincerely give my utmost respect to all medical officers, be it nurses, doctors or administrative staff. I believe everything that could be done is done; but here comes the real deal. Being such a deadly and contagious flu; it could be logical to say that areas around the most affected regions like Latin America should be the first to get it. The spreading of this viruses would then be done through tourists and people traveling around.

For years; our country is proud to be one of the most developed countries; and more than 20% (rough estimate)of our GDP dependent on tourism industries itself (much more if include the multiplier effect along with tourism related industries). We hold a lot of MICE meetings and is used geographically as headquarters for many businesses around the region. If theoretically we have so many traffic; why aren't we hit with swine flu yet?

Does Mexicans know we exists? I am not asking them to send some one affected over here; and I am praying we would never have to deal with swine flu, but I am thinking that this is a good time for ST B to start working. In a positive light, our M OH could be doing a good job; in a negative light, we need more energy in boosting our tourism and global status. But then, maybe, just maybe, we are just lucky :)

Sleep

To all my friends and network.

Sleep, to many of us is just an equity that seems so easy and worthless to trade off as or when we like. It is so seemingly un-important that we use it to trade it for work; for games or for fun.

Although in an average life time; a person would spend 1 third of his life sleeping; 1 quarter of his life traveling; one quarter of his life waiting; it still does not mean that we should treat trading off sleep so lightly. It just means that we need better planning.

For those who have read this, sleep well.

Jokes at the start of FY09/10

1st Joke:
I went to office on April Fool's day, which is also the First work day of our financial year 09/10. Then I heard my boss say, "this week we would need to do OT." Then my supervisor laugh, followed by me, then my colleagues.

I seriously think we misunderstood my boss; he didn't continued his sentence. He just took half day leave and AWOL. Next thing I know; we were staying back in office drinking coffee and doing work while listening to Class95 playing Westlife's "FOOL AGAIN." (can't believe that i am the fool again......)



Financial year: and what it means.
We need to submit our claims before the end of the month and usually my nice supervisors would remind me. Seeing the "emptiness" in my bank account; I am very conscious in submitting my claim for my taxi fares to the PSC department(my company's claim department) once I return from my last trip of the month (cause you can't submit claims twice).

To my horror, I saw this message today. "Due to the end of our financial year08/09, You would need to wait till earliest 6th April for all your claims to be processed." My office literally imploded with the thunder coming out from my heart.

Lesson learn: In other words; the start of your financial year doesn't mean you start spending. It just means you are not allowed to spend, and until that time arrives; you are suppose to be playing survival.

Adopting children

A famous actress has been in all the controversy lately due to her intention of adopting another child. Personally I have nothing against her or Brad pit and Angelina Jolie for their adoption of kids as their intentions are not media seeking. However; this has influenced the other stars to follow suit; this is definitely wrong. The adoption game has just evolved to another stage. Another stage for the stars to perform their sincerity and sympathy.

I have no ideas what these stars are thinking. This is actually a very dangerous and misleading action to the poorer countries. Just imagine what will the African or third world countries' parents be thinking once they heard international adoption is rising on the trend? They would probably be making babies and selling them off. Sounds sad but ya; that's the third world for you.

It would pose no surprise to me that these kind intentions actually breeds ill-willed motivations.

Another example would be the famous IQ tests; the original intention of devising the IQ tests was to discover the gifted children and accelerate their mental strength and abilities. However; it has end up in a form of labeling the children with lower IQ and poorer learning abilities. The same goes for gunpowder; dynamites, nuclear power, steam engine or the airplanes.

I am not stopping anyone from being kind or inventing something; it is just that; we would have to think of the consequences when creating something; be it a revolution or doing something as innocent as adopting a child.

Balance

my body condition:
I went to visit david's recently. I manage to know some how a bit more about how I got my condition and what it might lead to and the healing methods.

What happened: My body immunity system is too strong and started looking for opponents to fight after I started a healthy life style with the army. It just so happens to attack my kidney.

Orthodox way of recovering: Suppressed the immunity system through drugs. Stay healthy. Sleep and rest early.

Unorthodox way of recovering: get chicken pox or any form of viral infections; let the cells fight a war. Kill all the cells using drugs.

I am pretty sure that I prefer chicken pox. (not forgetting the 2 weeks holiday)

Why do men die first?

I over heard this topic on the radio and I think it sounds kinda funny, here goes:
The question was why do men die first? Simply:

If a woman says she have a headache over man; it means she is tired and exhausted.
If a man have headache over a woman; it means he doesn't love her any more.

If men work out and keep in shape; it means they are vain. If they don't it means they are slobs.

If a man compliments his wife; he is lying. If a man doesn't compliments his wife; he doesn't cherish her.

If a man doesn't provide for his wife; he is a loser. When he provides for his wife; he is just being over-protective.

If men don't cry; it means they are insensitive; if they do; it means they are wimps and over emotional.

So, why do men die first? Ans: probably they wanted to. :)

N S, SA F advertisements

I went into Tekong today and there are really a few things I have picking up in the public and I felt that it shouldn't be funny but spent the whole day laughing at it.

"It is not what you left behind; but what you will gain in the days ahead." Then it shows an army guy kissing the forehead of his girl goodbye. There isn't anything wrong about this ad until I heard a few comments from some others in the ferry terminal.
A: This ad really misleading ar
B: Why?
A: It is like trying to say that you are going to leave behind a girl and gain more freedom once you are in N S.
B: LOL, no la. It could also mean you are gonna lose a girl friend and get a boy friend once you are in N S.

boy, that was really funny.

When I board the bus from AMK to home. The TV Mobile started playing one of the classic SAF ads ,"THE STEEL WITHIN." Honestly; it is quite an impressive advertisement. It is like a high-tech highly sophisticated group of people doing fantastic stuff. But the chill here came when a couple age around 16-17 sitting in front of me started chatting. I could tell the guy likes the girl but ain't together yet.

Girl: Have you seen this ad?
Guy: nope, what is it? a new car ad?
Girl: zz, no. it is one of the SA F advertisements.
Guy: o. Never see before. Thought what sia.

I was jiggling at the back. He said "car ad" when it is so obvious the bloody unmanned flying surveillance vehicle was flying past the screen.

Main topic: Joker; sub-topic: Slack

I just work out my plans for the next 2 years would be carrying slacking and do whatever I want. This is my last chance to do what I want before wage slavery kicks in. I want to go do a lot of climbing and crashing; I want to move around. :)

I have been watching the Dark Knight over again the last few times and you gotta admit; The joker is probably the most notoriously known arch nemesis of the batman. But; take a look at it this way; of all the villains; he is probably the worst armed villain even among his clowns. He have no machinery like Mr. Freeze, gadgets like the Riddler or poison like poison Ivy; But he has this extra-ordinary thing that surpasses every other villain. He knows human nature; the thing that struck me the most was when I discover the amount of effort put into creating this formidable character. He knows what makes people tick and what makes people move; if I have to say this; he is probably the most unorthodox psychologist that ever exist in the marvel world; maybe other than Professor Charles Xavier and Jean Grey. :P

Human's survival in its rawest form

I started reading the romance of the 3 kingdoms lately. I realize two main issues; Liu Bei was nothing more than an approving officer in his camp and the only reason he was king was because he have some diluted royalty blood in him.

Number 2: There is never permanent friendship; only permanent interest. It shows me that those who survives throughout the times are usually those without pride; either that, they are supremely intelligent, logical and un-swayed by emotions (some one like Zhu Ge Liang). The romance of the 3 kingdoms show this in its rawest form; as humans evolute, its gets kinda complicated but the ideal remains the same.

I believe its the same to excel in all organizations; the mentality that once this guy is no longer together with you on your path of interest; then it means it is time to part ways. To excel is one issue; to survive is another.

LIVE ON!

the REAL call of Duty

I came across this quote ,"without duty, life is soft and boneless" by Joseph Joubert. By the end of your life; what would you have accomplished? What would you have give yourself to accomplish?

I came across another story some time back and I think the both of them makes good combination.
Hercules was sent down by Zeus with to save and help man kind. Through out his life; he work and slogged to save human lives. Due to his heroic actions; he made too many enemies and got tired of all the action and ask Zeus; "How do I know if I have completed the tasks you have given me?" "son, only by your last breath, would you then, know if you have completed what I set you out to do."

I am writing this with some of my friends in mind; give yourself some duty; some task; some mission to accomplish. We are all gonna screw up some way or another; solets just enjoy the screwing up process but also keeping in mind a duty we give ourselves.

My wall has fallen.

It always give me pride when showing my guests my house which had a fake wall used to cover up two rooms behind it.

Today, my parents tore it down; I seriously really like that wall. It really pierce me in the heart to see it gone; instantaneously!!!! Just when I came back from work; I feel an empty space.

The sight of the empty space strikes me immediately and feels some what similar perhaps to the Berlin Wall. 2 facts: There is more space; freedom (I can now cut across to the main hall). Secondly, its much brighter. But; somehow it wasn't really space and brightness I desire. I feel as though I lost my favorite pet or some one just took away one of my limbs.

Its really saddening; perhaps that is why they took it off when I am not around. :(

身体健康

身体健康 is something I have been wishing for and hoping to attain. For years this have always been my favorite song; this song is meaningful to people with broken and "chui" bodies like mine. With the ongoing trend of putting lyrics of songs onto blog entries, here's mine:


我不怕为你吃亏
多苦的工作也愿意奉陪
我只怕熬夜太累
错过了我们明天的约会
我不怕满脸汗水
盖一个属于我们的堡垒
我只怕感冒的我
尝不到你为我做的菜
有多浪费
不要你陪我喝药水
也不要成为你负累
倘若爱你怎能让你
和一个病人亲嘴
眼睁睁陪着我受罪

我希望身体健康
因为我答应过
要让你生活得十全十美
海誓山盟倒不如保重
别叫你牵累

我希望身体健康
因为我不愿意
看到你为了我担心流泪
万一你比我还要憔悴
怎能享受爱的滋味

我也曾把我光阴浪费
甚至莽撞到视死如归
却因为爱上了你
才开始渴望长命百岁

保佑我身体健康
虽然那天昏地黑
你会看着我安睡
抱着你为我盖的棉被
让我感动到流泪

Envy?

Ask thou not, the choice of god.

But question thee; the wrong of man.

The spirits of greed and envy once visited the supreme god. God told them, whatever the first spirit ask for, he will give the second spirit twice of what the first spirit wants. However, if none of them demands anything; he would then banished both of the spirits to mortal realms.

The spirit of greed kept quiet; as it knows, only a fool would give up this golden opportunity to be twice as rich or powerful. Finally, the spirit of envy says ,"I wish to have one eye ball remove."

-the end-

When you are rich; stay humble. When you are smart; act dumb. When you are strong, act weak. Spine chilling is that the wrath of envy that no would dare provoke; let no one envy you. In return, envy no one.

Classify Customize Character Categories

I realize that if I were to categorize, I wouldn't put myself under simple people or complicated. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even think it is possible to classify people into categories. There is SIX BILLION people out there, do you think it is even possible to group them; other than putting them under into a group name Earthlings, I wouldn't even dream of categorizing them. That's why I don't really get the geek listening to people studying horoscope and predicting my movements from there.

The belief from what I know is that the movement of the stars would have an effect on the people who were born under that same star. Other than that belief, I am bloody sure that the rest of the details were make up by statistics.

If there really is such a method of categorization, I would place myself some where near being an easy person; very simple minded, maybe impatient and impulsive, over confident at times but under confident at other times, Lousy temper but always attempt to see it from others point of view. Maybe I will stick with this character for the rest of my life. But that's what makes me, me.