Human's survival in its rawest form

I started reading the romance of the 3 kingdoms lately. I realize two main issues; Liu Bei was nothing more than an approving officer in his camp and the only reason he was king was because he have some diluted royalty blood in him.

Number 2: There is never permanent friendship; only permanent interest. It shows me that those who survives throughout the times are usually those without pride; either that, they are supremely intelligent, logical and un-swayed by emotions (some one like Zhu Ge Liang). The romance of the 3 kingdoms show this in its rawest form; as humans evolute, its gets kinda complicated but the ideal remains the same.

I believe its the same to excel in all organizations; the mentality that once this guy is no longer together with you on your path of interest; then it means it is time to part ways. To excel is one issue; to survive is another.

LIVE ON!

the REAL call of Duty

I came across this quote ,"without duty, life is soft and boneless" by Joseph Joubert. By the end of your life; what would you have accomplished? What would you have give yourself to accomplish?

I came across another story some time back and I think the both of them makes good combination.
Hercules was sent down by Zeus with to save and help man kind. Through out his life; he work and slogged to save human lives. Due to his heroic actions; he made too many enemies and got tired of all the action and ask Zeus; "How do I know if I have completed the tasks you have given me?" "son, only by your last breath, would you then, know if you have completed what I set you out to do."

I am writing this with some of my friends in mind; give yourself some duty; some task; some mission to accomplish. We are all gonna screw up some way or another; solets just enjoy the screwing up process but also keeping in mind a duty we give ourselves.

My wall has fallen.

It always give me pride when showing my guests my house which had a fake wall used to cover up two rooms behind it.

Today, my parents tore it down; I seriously really like that wall. It really pierce me in the heart to see it gone; instantaneously!!!! Just when I came back from work; I feel an empty space.

The sight of the empty space strikes me immediately and feels some what similar perhaps to the Berlin Wall. 2 facts: There is more space; freedom (I can now cut across to the main hall). Secondly, its much brighter. But; somehow it wasn't really space and brightness I desire. I feel as though I lost my favorite pet or some one just took away one of my limbs.

Its really saddening; perhaps that is why they took it off when I am not around. :(

身体健康

身体健康 is something I have been wishing for and hoping to attain. For years this have always been my favorite song; this song is meaningful to people with broken and "chui" bodies like mine. With the ongoing trend of putting lyrics of songs onto blog entries, here's mine:


我不怕为你吃亏
多苦的工作也愿意奉陪
我只怕熬夜太累
错过了我们明天的约会
我不怕满脸汗水
盖一个属于我们的堡垒
我只怕感冒的我
尝不到你为我做的菜
有多浪费
不要你陪我喝药水
也不要成为你负累
倘若爱你怎能让你
和一个病人亲嘴
眼睁睁陪着我受罪

我希望身体健康
因为我答应过
要让你生活得十全十美
海誓山盟倒不如保重
别叫你牵累

我希望身体健康
因为我不愿意
看到你为了我担心流泪
万一你比我还要憔悴
怎能享受爱的滋味

我也曾把我光阴浪费
甚至莽撞到视死如归
却因为爱上了你
才开始渴望长命百岁

保佑我身体健康
虽然那天昏地黑
你会看着我安睡
抱着你为我盖的棉被
让我感动到流泪

Envy?

Ask thou not, the choice of god.

But question thee; the wrong of man.

The spirits of greed and envy once visited the supreme god. God told them, whatever the first spirit ask for, he will give the second spirit twice of what the first spirit wants. However, if none of them demands anything; he would then banished both of the spirits to mortal realms.

The spirit of greed kept quiet; as it knows, only a fool would give up this golden opportunity to be twice as rich or powerful. Finally, the spirit of envy says ,"I wish to have one eye ball remove."

-the end-

When you are rich; stay humble. When you are smart; act dumb. When you are strong, act weak. Spine chilling is that the wrath of envy that no would dare provoke; let no one envy you. In return, envy no one.

Classify Customize Character Categories

I realize that if I were to categorize, I wouldn't put myself under simple people or complicated. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even think it is possible to classify people into categories. There is SIX BILLION people out there, do you think it is even possible to group them; other than putting them under into a group name Earthlings, I wouldn't even dream of categorizing them. That's why I don't really get the geek listening to people studying horoscope and predicting my movements from there.

The belief from what I know is that the movement of the stars would have an effect on the people who were born under that same star. Other than that belief, I am bloody sure that the rest of the details were make up by statistics.

If there really is such a method of categorization, I would place myself some where near being an easy person; very simple minded, maybe impatient and impulsive, over confident at times but under confident at other times, Lousy temper but always attempt to see it from others point of view. Maybe I will stick with this character for the rest of my life. But that's what makes me, me.

new year resolution: more cold blooded and clear headed.

I have been an emotional guy all this while and finally matured to somewhat somewhere less emotional. But this is not enough, I need to slowly hardened this emotions for interrupting my work. Throughout history, negative emotions like arrogance, hatred and frustration caused great people to fall. I just realized it actually takes a lot of bloody effort to just say you don't care. Guess my blood is still kinda warm :P

I have been a fool who is always unaware of the things going around me. I am always fooled into turning round and round by people; although sometimes intentionally but somehow one way or another I am gradually becoming a real fool. I still need to learn when to talk and when to "appear" and when to say the right things at the right time.

Things I learn from driving.

This is a picture I took in Taiwan, Taipei. It is a picture of their guard of honor, along with Joseph and me. It has nothing to do with my topic; but it is a picture I wish to share.

My driving instructor is also a mentor on life. To him, life is probably a high way, not an expressway. There may be times you need to slow down; but that doesn't mean its time for you to off the engine. Slowing down in life doesn't mean turning off your engine and die. It just requires you to take a tempo on different things.


You may have overshot the right turn, but its okay; a detour will still get back on the road. We always blame ourselves when things go wrong; but we do not realize the amount of effort taken to self-blame is just another waste of time. It is important to do self-reflection once in a while; but not all the time. We should always spend the time looking for another route to detour to get back on track instead of blaming your own retard reaction.


Even when you come to a complete stop or rest, you still mustn't keep your eyes off the road or your hands off the steering wheel. Resting is a must for everyone; even for the best driver. Resting is a break for some one who is about to start another journey or continue his journey; not as though as your car is going for overhauling. Even when resting; you must always fix your eyes at your destination and on the road.


Grabbing the steering wheel too hard will only cause the car to wobble; a certain amount of lax must be given to the steering wheel. Its the same for relationships; a certain amount of space is needed for everyone. Be it the steering wheel or your partner, space is needed not for free wheeling, but for smooth journey.


Always do one thing at a time. Lets face it, only one in a Billion of us are Initial D drivers; the rest of us are better off as normal drivers. It is better for us to concentrate on one action at a time to avoid ending up in a confused state or worst; the engine resting on you. :)

There is a time to accelerate and a time to slow down. What gear to use when going into this turn and what speed to slow down to when going into the turn. Judgment on this issues are of vital importance. We must learn when to accelerate, brake or slow down. Achieving a constant speed is the ideal for safe driving, but that would probably be too boring.


On the road, slow down when others slow down. Accelerate when others accelerate. Give way when others speed; get a note book ready in case of accidents (lol). We need to accommodate and tolerate one another on the road in order to reach our destination safely. Being considerate, accommodating to others doesn't mean we must tolerate all of their nonsense. This again is another issue of judgment.

My question to you, is "Are you a good driver?" I am learning to be one though.

A Joke with the Driving Instructor

I don't know if this is gonna spark any rumors but this is simply too funny to be known only to me. I started learning driving today from Jean's uncle (Father's elder brother). Forget about ice-breaking and stuff like that, he drove me to stadium link and started learning from there.

So, he taught me the left and right turns, acceleration and brakes and stuff like that. Then he started asking ,"so, one of your friends learn from my brother?"

"er, actually Jean is my poly school mate."

"oh oh, she is my niece you know?? Okay, let go of the accelerator bit by bit, get ready to change gear, press the break a bit to around half, ar...correct....so Jean is your girlfriend?"

(got shocked, I ZHAM the break) "NO LAR!"

*STUNNED* He showed me that one in a million stunned face then slowly says, "Oh ok ok, don't do that again. Now we try again. go back to square one, press the clutch and press the accelerator and slowly let go of the clutch."

He continued telling me this ,"I used to teach one of my niece friends. I remember he is her boyfriend or something, his name is Zi something de. I think from a certain university. ok, stop here. Pull up the hand brake. wait ar.... I search (went through his books, AR! His name is Zi Bing!"

"orh......that guy still in army la uncle."

"Aiya, as long she happy can le"

This really made me laugh all the way home.

Cultivate Friendship

I just happened to be in another depression when I came across this book in the library. I came across this book which really happens to drop on my legs while I was taking out another book in the bookshelf (language sector). I don't know why the book is there but its title is "100 simple secrets of happy people", oh geesh, don't start laughing behind your screens. I really think it was fate this book when this book shouldn't belong in the language sector with it dropping on my leg. So I started reading, to be honest it wasn't a self-help book at all; to put it in more conveniently, I think it is a compilation of psychology research data. I come across this page which says ,"cultivate friendship".

here goes:

Close relationships, more than personal satifaction or one's view of the world as a whole, are the most meaningful factors in happiness. I f you feel close to other people, you are four times as likely to feel good about yourself than if you do not feel close to anyone. (Magen, Birenbaum, and Perry 1996)

(HuiPing, its not what you think, but this is for you)Happy people do not experience one success after another and unhappy people , one failure after another. Instead, surveys show that happy and unhappy people tend to have had very similar life experiences. The difference is that the average unhappy person spends more than twice as much time thinking about unpleasant events in their lives, while happy people tend to seek and rely upon information that brightens their personal out-look. (Lyubomirsky 1994)

I don't really remember most of the happy things I have been through but it says here that both kinds of people do things that create and reinforce their moods. What comes around, goes around. be happy.

being left out

It sucks when you are being left out. :( It really does. Especially when you don't have any other friends in this area. I keep harping on it because it brings back some really bad memories.I really thought you guys would at least ask. It really destroyed my day. the funny part is you guys are ACTUALLY asking me to dinner to discuss about YOUR TRIP? Perhaps I sound like a little baby whining for attention but, I really have enough of being left out since union days. Hui Ping, I am sorry, I really can't wait for the day these guys surprise me. But I have learn well that I should never have pinned hope on having any friend. I am probably naive. LOL. too naive. people, save your comments.

I no longer need any critics; I am my own.

Words

On Sunday morning, I was asking my sis to spare me 20 bucks as I am lazy to route to the other side of the neighborhood to draw out cash. Then came the sentence then left me smiling for the whole morning," Brother, I will get you a sub-card soon." That really left me smiling to myself while she made her way out of the house.

Then she left the house to join my parents and Lil Sister for Sunday breakfast. Then my dad suddenly came up to use the latrine. After he used the latrine, we went down to the car park together and I begged him to give me a lift. The came another sentence that left me motivated till now ,"son, the location you are heading is not along the way. I will get a weekend car once you get your license." I was so happy and started walking off to the bus stop despite knowing I was late.

Here comes the joke, I think my elder sister and father are great with using words and distracting me from my request but leaving me a happy guy for the whole day. Somehow I have yet to learn the tricks of neutralizing their words and yet to master their level 100 "distraction" skill.

My joy of Christmas

After much debate, planning, meeting, resource management, information gathering and location analysis; my family has finally decided to go on a 4-5 day tour in Malaysia. Therefore, my Christmas plan is not to have any plan at all!!!

First of all, nice to meet you all, My name is wen han (trying to re-intro myself). If possible, please call me by my Chinese name from now on. thanks. I was thinking the other day after a delightful interrogation period with the old birds that maybe I should change this blog's name to "thoushallnotTALK.blogspot.com"

Christmas has always been a season of giving and cherishing for me. After watching the Last Lecture and Vice-presidential debate between Biden and Palin over and over again; I have attain some miraculous enlightenment.

I have always been a sadistic, perverse and pessimistic person. From now on, I will change. My new year resolution is to be a brighter and happier man. And guys, trust me; I am not desperate or any where along that line in your imagination.

Steamboat for my Birthday

I have finally reached 21. Throughout the past 2 days, I have been receiving greetings from friends I have not seen for ages. It really makes me feel blessed and contented from these greetings alone. I dare not ask for any gifts as I don't feel I deserve any of them but I still received some gifts from YEC, Union gang and my siblings.

I am really grateful to be born into this family especially my mother who has utmost tolerance with my noisy gang and my elder sister whom I guessed did the sponsoring. And perhaps my neighbours who did nothing even though we were slaughtering chickens in my room. I believe most of us are suffering from the post-wii syndrome which leaves the hands sore and shaky along with doing wii-like actions while we are asleep. I am proud of my home and I sincerely thank those who makes an effort to at least compliment the layout of my home; firstly because its my dad's greatest creation other than the 3 of us. And secondly, I learned some where in the arts of Rome where they treat their home as their first and last line of defense. That shows how much pride they take in building their homes.

Hey Grace (union de) thanks for the chocolate! Thanks for coming down too! Sorry for letting you feel out of place :(
My batch guys Jean, Eddie and Candice are great people who has been tolerating me. But I was still expecting some gifts from them(LOL) despite saying shamelessly that their attendance is good enough. They did redeem themselves by promising me a buffet. For their convenience, I have planned the following dinner cuisine for each of the following:

Eddie--> Dinner at chomp chomp would be good enough (we are still NSFs)

Jean --> How about a lunch at Machae?

Candice --> Candle light dinner anywhere would be fine :) preferably a date (^_^)

Thank you Jean, I was really looking forward to receiving your hand made card. I am a believer in karma and for some time I was thinking if the light bulbs, condoms, coin banks and other rubbish I have stock you guys with would flow back to me. I am really grateful that you guys did not bring these stuff to my house or else my mother and sister would probably be very worried.

Hey, Chi Ho!!! Thanks for your chocolate and unlocking of all my games. LOL. You have been a great senior. Will visit you at Sheng song some other time.

My YEC peers (Lina, Chak, Chritine, Des, WW and Terence): Thanks for coming down. I have decrypt the hidden message of having the watch as a gift. However. . . . as the surface is too beautiful, I think I might not wear it so soon. I am still a cheap bastard afterall. Something this expensive is too luxurious for me. So, try getting me Rolex or Raymond Well next time. :)

my birthday -> a day to reflect

It has been a kinda short year for me as I was resting for around 10 months or so. Its been quite a challenge whenever I meet my batch boys be it officers or BMT platoon mates. Deep down in me, there has always been this sense of jealousy and envy towards them as they are able to make it through OCS whereas I am still marching on the spot. Many of them couldn't recognized me on first glance; I am sure that my looks didn't really change that much or perhaps I am not longer the proud and courageous damien guy any more.

Even among my poly friends, I felt that I have not improved or matured into someone I expect myself to. Not just me, even my officer and friends have expect something more out of me. I have been wasting time (10&1/2 months to be exact)whereas everyone else is evolving. I really feel like a caterpillar who has turn into a cocoon and stayed there. I have been trying to overcome this mindset of mine and reassuring myself not to worry and I would excel some day. However, this only gave me greater pain because I have yet to achieve what I have set out to achieve.

I don't need any sympathy but all these years, I have never achieve anything that is worth calling an achievement. Being 21 years of age and accomplishing as good as nothing isn't really worth any celebration. It is important for me to achieve something by my birthday each year so that I can tell myself that I am not a living corpse and have done something decent to match my name.

However all is not lost. I have tried many ways to throw away my obsolete pride and arrogance; but throughout the process, I realized the more I want to dispose it, the more I actually resist it. Thus, it is better to let it slowly decompose itself then to destroy it. Pride is something really temporary for a business student; it obstructs the way of learning and acceptance. I hope to be a humble and hardworking wenhan by the end of my NS.

Hope for Change/ Yes, we can.

yup, okay, I admit I am an Obama and Biden fan. I like Obama's mentality and Biden's stability when facing challenges. Obama started out quite shabbily and shaky while having scripts in hand and finally matured into a fully charismatic leader who is able to inspire simply through his speeches. (Btw, I do agree on his econimic take on taxing the richest to drive the middle class)

But lets face it, the real challenge just started. With 2 wars on its front, a crumbling economy and a weakening dollar, Obama's government is gonna be in for some trouble. In addition, he entered the office with too high an approval rating. So, maybe, if he has some powerful method of reviving maybe like Ma Ying Jiu (who did so perhaps easily by just mending ties with China), his (Obama's) aprroval rating would be sure to drop by perhaps a 10 point fall, maybe lesser.

Perhaps he could do what Bill did by just focusing on their economy and neglecting foreign affairs; but it would be deem impractical as the world isn't what it was in the 90s. Obama would need to mend ties with the its allies and revive the economy and ending the wars. He lives with not just high expectation of his own country but also throughout the world.

John Mccain's take on the economy sounds logical (taxing the middle class so that the richest are able to provide jobs), but lets face it; it has been there for CENTURIES and thats where it has lead America to, another economic crisis.

Palin is still not prepared to be the VP nominee as she lacks stabilty and logic in her debate against Joe Biden. She is however; good in one thing, attracting attention. She goes around the coutry like a rockstar. She makes a normal person (perhaps less potical sensitive people like housewives) feel important.

focus, endurance and persistence

I have always been complaining even though I managed to installed internal freedom to distract myself to stop complaining. I absorbed this very valuable lesson just very recently in my office.

Complaining only makes one circulate around the problem but not the solution. It saddens the human spirit as we all know that what has been thwarted cannot be undone. Which then leads to another theory; "things that you focus on, expands." People with strong minds focus on the solutions to problems, not the problem itself. Thus, it is never smart to convert your problems into complains and sadden your spirit. Keeping your focus on all your positive energy will bring you unexpected findings on how much achievement you can accomplished.

It is important however; to realize the worst case scenario for every possible challenge you are facing. Therefore, a balance is once again in the story; with one hand holding all the worst case scenarios, whereas the other maintaining a positive mindset neglecting all the complains.

I hope to be mentally strong enough to endure through whatever it takes to complete what I have set myself out to accomplished. As I have read from a book; a man once asked God,

"Have I completed the mission you gave me?"

God calmly says "no, not yet."

"why?!?!?!"

"Because you are still breathing."

Congrats to Christine and Desmond!!!!

I almost cried during Desmond and Christine's wedding on 2 occasions. The first was during the solemnization, Christine was crying and so was her father. I was kinda touched by what the Justice of Peace who solemnize them said. Another reason was this photo. I almost laugh till I cried. I swear to everyone reading this, that I did NOT edit this photo at all. It was quite obvious what this person was trying to do.

The wedding was fun with Wei Ming, Terrence Quah, Zhao Ming and De Wen as buddies, Terrence and Lina as MCs. In addition, I managed to help Chi Ho found his long lost brother (Lian Huat)and entertained my gang of friends over there. I did alot of lousy videoing probably due to inexperience. I promised I will be so much better at videoing the next time round.

It was a boring bachelor night for Desmond as we chat about everything under the sun before have an "Ops Order" from Desmond. All I could remember was Chak and Wei Ming playing online solitaire and the gang of brothers having very late supper and very early breakfast around 1am at Hougang point.

Something to be so proud of was that I managed to play a prank and scam Lina to speak into the mic with her thinking the mic was off. It was all good fun even though I was so much burnt out and drunk as compared to the previous wedding.

Arh~ So shagged.

When your bosses hates each other

This was one of my pictures during my cousin's wedding dinner with the theme ,"Shanghai Night." One of my cousins thought it was held at a chalet and came as a trishaw rider at ARANDA COUNTRY CLUB. The night was fun as most of us were drunk and everyone went crazy and started singing on stage. But this is not the main story.

I was transferred over to Changi for a few weeks now. I enjoyed the sea breeze, the sights of ships, the environment (outside the office). From my personal observation, there has been alot of on going internal politics in my office. I wouldn't say its problematic or sickening but it feels satanically fun. I have been experimenting my human skills to ensure that no one will harm me. The relationship goes this way; Boss A is directly over me but he hates boss B. Boss B has control over me as she is sitting very near me, boss B also hates Boss A & C. Boss C is the overall in charge but is hated by everyone. Boss D is quite inefficient and is hated by B, but Boss D also hates Boss C & A.

Sounds complicated huh? But this is the fun part when human relationships meet internal politics. When my bosses meet each other eye to eye and I just happen to be in the middle; I will set them onto a stage to fight and lay back to enjoy the show. It sounds evil, down-under and despicable; but I see no gain or returns from participating with them.

Its hard to get into everyone's good books when they typically wish the other doesn't exist.It is only safe to maneuver them to fight among themselves and gain whatever comes out the confusion before ending up as a tool in their civil war.

An archer, a target board and a boulder.

An archer is some one that shoots arrows. A target board is what it should be as it is. In almost all the games I play so far, I always have a liking for long-range attacking characters; I never had a mentality of what the opponent would feel facing a long range opponent. Neither have I ever thought of what would it feels like to hold the bow all the time.

Thanks to my current job, I gain the enlightenment of what it feels like to be a living target board. The arrows don't really hurt me, but I do feel some pricks of thrill and excitement. I have been waiting to try out a mentality that I have been formulating for months with no chance to use it. Its like a king's sword stuck in a wooden sheath.

I read that a strong man is stronger and bigger than his problems; whereas a poor man is weaker and smaller than his problems. If a person were to fall in front of a problem, he is deem weak and feeble. Lets say this level 3 guy met a level 5 problem; its undeniable he would die. But to put things in a different perspective, once he reach level 10, this level 5 problem is no longer a challenge. Therefore, once I have reach the mindset of a boulder,strong, hard and impenetrable no arrows would be able to hurt me.

But the irony is that I have to be a target board before becoming a boulder.