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I used to think that my mind is weaker than the body. I was always confident that this body can endure longer than the mind. I was WRONG.

Although not many people know it yet, yea, but I am on a 15 day MC; it is expected to extend. No one knows when will I go back to ocs, no one knows whether if i can resume my course. Worst, no one knows what the hell is wrong with my body.

this body is dying faster than what i have anticipated.

but dont get the wrong idea, i am still alive.

the first time in my life, i sleep with fear throughout each night. each night, my heart aches as though it is gonna stop working. I walk on the streets as though I am an old man, panting with every step. My body bloats up and swells as and when it likes. I can't run, move, jump around as I used to. I dread everyday of this ordeal.

To make things worse, I feel utmostly unfilial that my mom still has to worry for me everyday. It feels horrible to carry this sense of guilt around. Thank god everything is currently under the expense of the government; or else I would have become a vegetarian and live in seclusion for the rest of my life.

somebody, save me.